One evening I was sitting on the balcony of my apartment in my new city when I heard the sound of the loud pick up truck drive into the parking lot. It was a very familiar sound. This particular truck would come in late at night and wake me up. When the driver opened the door (I had never seen what he looked like before), he came out singing and shaking to the music that played from his truck – Justin Timberlake’s “I got this feeling.” What struck me about him, was that he seemed very happy. In that moment he was happy. He didn’t care about who saw him or heard him; he was singing for him. There was no ulterior motive, just that he was happy. It is strange to say this, but I have never seen a guy act like that.
I have often come across men back home who would never do that for fear of how they would appear to others, because God forbid they allow themselves to be vulnerable. There was no real joy on their faces, their faces hid secrets, and showed their anger with life but most of all there was calculation for lust, for money and power. Everyone wanted someone who would add value to their life. Men and women dated those who would make their careers grow or who had the right family name. A lot of the relationships started with propinquity and just kept on because there was no one else. I look at the faces of many friends who have been married for many years and see emptiness, the fading love or the love that was never there. I have seen many girls and women exhibit their love for their husbands but their husband’s attentions are elsewhere. They continue the parody though, because there is no one else when you live in a country with a population of 712,000. They continue because of the shame and some continue because they don’t have any other life to go to.
Love shouldn’t happen because of the name or money a partner brings, but the joy they bring to you and your world; they should complement you not just materially but make your feel your best – your happiest self. Love should be simple and not calculating. Love should be simple and happy like the guy that drives the loud pick up truck.